Ultimately, I believe we have lessons to learn during our lifetimes. If you become aware of one, or more, of those lessons it doesn’t necessarily make learning them any easier… it just means you can take note of particularly significant situations.
I’ve known for some time that one of my own Big Lessons is dealing with change. Usually you will find me resistant to big changes, and uncomfortable with not-so-big ones. But, knowing that this is something I need to work on, I do try to be conscious of opportunities to practice.
The strangest part is that, when I resist change, and keep things at the “status quo”, I’m not terrifically happy. It doesn’t really contribute to my overall bliss. If I’m honest, the only thing that keeps me from embracing big changes is fear of What Might Happen.
Recently I read something (it was in Martha Beck‘s book Steering by Starlight) about how there are two types of pain- clean pain (the result of, say, hurting our physical selves) and dirty pain (the result of our worrying about the pain, for example, the thought: what if this injury becomes worse?) I also know of two types of fear, or anxiety: first fear, which is the result of a scary or harmful situation, and second fear, which is actually a fear of fear, or being afraid of how it makes you feel to be afraid. (Anyone who has experienced anxiety understands this well).
So I guess my second fear is what’s causing me to resist big changes.
Anyways, I’m trying to slowly move in the direction of embracing more changes. It is a bit scary, but mostly empowering. And if I have any great success, I’ll certainly share it!
Have you had any experience with facing a resistance to change?